


Savior Of The Dreaming Dead

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27770827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Jan bothers Doc a lot while he's trying to work, it's just something he likes to do, it's never for anything actually important. Until one day, it is.
Relationships: The Doctor/Jan Valentine
Kudos: 1





	Savior Of The Dreaming Dead

It was looking to be a long work day. Doc had been in the dark recesses of his lab since that morning, and now it was late afternoon and he didn't have any plans of stopping soon.

To be fair, this was no one's fault but his own. Nobody was forcing him to do this, he could take a break anytime he wanted, or just stop altogether. He was simply choosing not to. He was too invested in what he was doing, it would be insane to stop now.

Although, what he was doing wasn't actually all that complicated, or important. It was actually fairly mundane and simple, all he was doing was going over some of his notes. Sorting through them, reorganizing them. As well as adding more to the older ones, which had subjects that he'd since learned much more about. Occasionally he'd scrap some and rewrite them entirely, recognizing his past analysis as too flawed to be fixed with only a few additions or corrections.

That was what he'd been up to for the whole day. And you'd think something like this shouldn't take _that_ long, but you'd be wrong. You see, he wasn't exactly the most organized sometimes, at least not when it came to his notes. His experiments themselves were different for the most part, they were important enough that he wanted to be able to find them as easily as possible, he had a system for them.

He'd liked to think that was also the case with his notes, that despite them seeming like a mess, it was a sort of controlled chaos situation. He'd come to realize how incorrect that assumption was over time. Again and again he found himself unable to find what he was looking for, everything was mingled with each other with no sense of order or reason, or tucked away somewhere he would never reasonably think to look, and it occurred to him that this was extremely inconvenient. He hadn't wanted to do anything about it at first, more willing to suffer through it than go through the trouble of fixing it. 

Today however, he'd decided that enough was enough. This was a problem, and if he didn't fix it then who knew how bad it would get? Eventually he wouldn't be able to find anything at all, and that would be no way to live. That would actually be detrimental to any future projects he might want to start, or current ones he might want to update.

So needless to say, this was long overdue.

He was making pretty good progress, if he said so himself. He still had what he suspected to be at least a few more hours worth to sort through, maybe a whole other day or so would need to be set aside even. These had been piling up for over fifty years, there was _a lot_ to go over. Still, things were already looking considerably better.

He was feeling rather optimistic. As well as exhausted, and a tad burned out, as well as just generally physically awful since he hadn't stopped to look after himself any more than absolutely necessary. But overall, pretty good. These were all feelings he was used to, they were easy to ignore, especially when he focused on the satisfaction this was giving him.

He'd recently stumbled across his first set of notes for Schrodinger, and he was contemplating what to do with them.

Scrapping them would be the most logical choice. They were incredibly dated, from back when Schrodinger wasn't even completed yet. Much had changed since then, these were practically useless.

He almost wanted to keep them though, for nostalgia's sake if nothing else. Schrodinger was one of his finest creations, Doc was incredibly proud of both himself for managing to make such a thing and of Schrodinger for enduring everything that he'd needed to go through to become what he was. He wanted to keep some record of that process, even if the knowledge itself was worthless.

Before he could come to a decision, he was rudely interrupted.

Arms wrapped around his middle and pulled him close so that his back was pressed against someone else's chest. On top of that, the person who'd already invaded his personal space buried their face into the back of his neck, somehow making the situation even more uncomfortable.

Doc sighed, he didn't need to look to know who this was. Jan.

Jan barging in while he was in the middle of working wasn't anything new, it was a pretty common occurrence actually. He was used to it by now.

That didn't mean he had to like it. In fact, he kind of hated it. He could feel a headache coming on, and he hadn't even said anything to Jan yet.

The thing is, he wouldn't care too much if Jan just showed up to hang out. As long as he stayed out of the way and didn't interfere with anything, then he could stay for as long as he wanted as far as Doc was concerned. In fact, having some sort of company might be nice. He wasn't one to feel lonely very often, but he couldn't deny that spending hours upon hours basically isolating himself took some sort of toll. 

That wasn't what Jan was here for, though. Obviously.

If the way Jan couldn't keep his hands to himself was any indicator, he was here for sex. This was also a common occurrence, it seemed like that was what Jan was after every other time he spoke to Doc. Hell, sometimes he didn't even bother speaking, he'd just show up and try to get right down to business. A lot like what was happening now, really.

Needless to say, this wasn't something Doc appreciated. It was annoying at best, and at worst it was kind of painful. It felt like that was all Jan wanted from him sometimes, that he'd only bother seeking Doc out when he wanted to get off and otherwise was fine leaving him completely alone.

Logically, Doc knew this wasn't the case. Jan had spent plenty of time with him before with no sexual acts involved. If Doc turned down his advances, then he might complain but after he was done bitching then he'd be fine with sticking around, happy to do so even. He seemed to like being around Doc in general. Even if he found a lot of what Doc normally did boring, he was able to make things entertaining for himself. Engaging Doc in long discussions about utter nonsense, just spouting whatever came to his mind. 

Unfortunately, this didn't make Doc any less irritated. If anything, it made him feel worse. This just proved that Jan was fully capable of behaving himself and spending time with Doc in a normal way, but just chose not to most of the time. It kind of pissed Doc off, if he was being honest.

With these thoughts in mind, he moved to grab Jan's hands and pry them off. If Jan wanted to try and protest, then Doc would tell him that he could learn to wait like a reasonable adult, or at least _ask_ before just feeling Doc up like a cheap whore. Or he could leave.

As soon as he placed his hands on Jan's however, he stopped. This wasn't right.

First of all, Jan's hands weren't moving. Normally they would hardly be able to stay still, pushing their way under Doc's shirt or shoving his pants down or any number of things. Right now though, they were completely stationary, just clinging to him.

More importantly, they were shaking. That was an obvious sign of something bad, some sort of strong emotional response. And Doc had never known Jan to get shaky over positive emotions, so that really only left one conclusion.

Doc kept his hands on Jan's, but didn't try moving them, just resting them there. "Jan?" He prompted quietly.

Jan didn't give much of a verbal response, just a small 'mhm' to show that he'd heard.

"Are you... alright?"

"Yeah." And then after a few seconds. "...No."

Doc's heart clenched at the sound of Jan's voice. It was shaking too, though Jan was obviously trying to keep it under control. It also sounded strained, as if he were trying to stop himself from crying. And on top of that, it sounded rough, as if he'd already cried before showing up, but hadn't got it all out of his system.

He wasn't sure what to do in this situation. There were very few times where Jan allowed himself to be emotionally vulnerable around Doc, and none of the previous times had ever been on purpose. Rather than Jan coming straight to Doc about something that was wrong, he'd accidentally slip up, he'd try and fail at acting like nothing was bothering him. This was completely foreign territory for Doc, he really didn't want to mess it up.

"What's wrong?" That seemed like a good place to start.

Jan was silent for a few moments, when he did speak a whisper of "nightmare" was the only thing he managed to croak out. 

Oh.. Okay. That made sense, Doc knew that Jan got nightmares. He'd witnessed them a few times. When the two of them were sleeping together, Jan would sometimes abruptly jerk awake, awaking either with a flinch or by sitting upright entirely, both of which would end up waking Doc. For his first few seconds awake, Jan's eyes would be wide and looking around frantically, as if he expected something to jump out and try to hurt him. Once he took in his surroundings and realized that he was safe, he'd pull his hat tightly over his head and make some attempt at deep breathing.

Right now, Doc realized he'd only been around for the more mild nightmares. Clearly. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" That seemed like the right thing to ask.

Jan quickly shook his head, a noise escaping his throat, as if just thinking about doing such a thing was too much for him. He sounded like he might burst into tears.

"Okay, okay... That's alright." Doc rubbed his thumbs along Jan's knuckles. "It's okay." He repeated. "You don't have to."

Jan nodded, mumbling something that was probably meant to be a thanks but was hard to make out. 

Doc didn't know what his next move should be. Every other time he'd managed to get a glimpse at Jan even mildly upset, he'd tell Doc to ignore it, to mind his own business and pretend he hadn't noticed anything. That obviously wasn't what he wanted right now though, he'd come to Doc for some sort of comfort.

But, how was he supposed to offer that? He'd offered to listen and Jan didn't want to talk, what else was there for him to do? He held back a sigh, he really wished he had more experience with this sort of thing.

For a while he just stood there, letting Jan embrace him. He was wracking his brain for any action he could take and was coming up completely empty. He felt kind of awful about it, he couldn't help thinking that Jan would have been better off going to someone like his brother for this sort of thing.

After a while though, an idea hit him. He didn't know if it was a _good_ idea, but it was worth a try.

"Jan?" He spoke up again. "Would you want to lie down with me?" He asked. "I don't expect you to get back to sleep, but it would be a lot more comfortable than just standing here."

After a few second wait, Doc felt Jan nod.

He allowed himself a sigh of relief. Good, he'd figured something out.

He started prying Jan's hands off of him. Slowly, carefully. "Let go, okay?"

Jan did as he was asked, wrapping his arms around himself as soon as Doc was free.

"I just have to clean up a little around here first, okay? It'll only take a few minutes."

Jan didn't look happy about that, but he nodded anyway. Though to be fair, he just wasn't happy in general, it was hard to tell if that actually upset him.

Doc felt kind of bad for keeping him waiting, but this place was a mess. He had to put what he'd managed to sort away, what he hadn't gotten to as well, he couldn't just leave it all lying out in the open.

So, he did that. It didn't take too excruciatingly long, and then the two of them were ready to retire to his bedroom.

For a good bit while they were lying together, Jan clung to him like a lifeline. It hurt a little, but Doc wasn't about to point that out. He just held Jan close, rubbing a hand along his back and shoulders, and other such things.

At some point, Doc decided to start talking. About what, he wasn't entirely sure. Nothing specific, it didn't really matter. Just about things unrelated to what was troubling Jan, anything else really. Jan seemed like the type who would appreciate distractions in a situation like this.

Doc must've been onto something, because after a while Jan's death grip eased up into something more tolerable. He didn't completely relax, but it was a start.

At some point, Jan also started talking. At first it wasn't much, just adding little bits of commentary to what Doc was saying. After a few minutes, he was interjecting completely, interrupting Doc to say his own things.

At first, he'd apologize for this, attempting to quiet down after doing so. When Doc assured him it was okay, he started doing it more. Eventually he was dominating the conversation.

It was almost like normal. Except Jan was still really tense, and would sometimes stumble on his words. Or he'd hear a noise from elsewhere in the hideout and freeze up for a few seconds, by the time he calmed down again he'd have forgotten what he was saying. Or he'd shut up for long periods of time, letting Doc be the one to speak, fine with just sitting and focusing on Doc's voice.

It was a noticeable improvement, Doc would gladly take it.

They kept at it until night fell, and then for a little longer. Until Doc's exhaustion caught up with him, and he felt he had no choice but to sleep. He did so with Jan next to him, letting the other know to wake him if he was needed. He was fairly certain that Jan would be fine, he was doing much better already, but still. No harm in making sure.

**Author's Note:**

> This is admittedly self indulgent as hell, but listen. Jan getting comforted just makes me very happy ok


End file.
